[draft] Boston August 23rd 1777 - My Dearest Friend - I wrote you a line by the last post just to lett you know I was alive which indeed was all I could then say with propriety for I [struck: then] had serious thoughts that I never should see you again - so much was I reduced by only four days of illness but by help of a good constitution I am surprisingly better today - I am now to answer your three last letters in one of which you ask for a history of my life. it is my love so barren of adventures and so replete with repetition that I fear it will afford you little amusement - however such as it is I give it you - In the first place, I rise about eight in the morning (a lazy hour you will say - but the day after that, is full long for a person in my situation) I presently after sitt down to my breakfast, where a page in my book, and a dish of tea, employ me alternately for about an hour - When after seeing that family matters go on right, I [struck: repeair] repair to my work, my book, or my pen, for the rest of the forenoon - at two oclock I usually take my solitary dinner where I reflect upon my past happiness when I used to sitt at the window watching for my Harry - and when I saw him coming my heart would leap for joy - when he was all my own and never happy from me when the bare thought of six months absence would have shocked him - to divert these ideas I place my little Lucy by me at table - but the more engaging her little actions are so much the more do I regret the absence of her father who would take such delight in them. - in the afternoon I commonly take my chaise, and ride into the [2] country or go to drink tea with one of my few [struck: acquaintance] [inserted: friends]. They consist of Mrs Jarviss Mrs Sears Mrs Smith Mrs Pollard and my Aunt Waldo - I have many acquaintance beside these whom I visit but not without ceremony - when with any of [inserted: the] former I often spend the evening - but when I return home - how shall describe my feelings to find myself intirely alone - to reflect that the only friend I have in the world is at such an immense distance from me - to think that [inserted: he] may [inserted: be] sick and I cannot assist him ah poor me my heart is ready to burst, you who know what a trifle would make me unhappy, can conceive what I suffer now. - when I seriously reflect that I have lost my father Mother Brother and Sisters - intirely lost them - I am half distracted true I chearfully resigned them for one far dearer to me than all of them - but I am totally deprived of him - I have not seen him for almost six months - and he writes me without pointing out any method by which I may ever expect to see him again - tis hard my Harry indeed it is I love you with the tenderest the purest affection - I would undergo any hardships to be near you and you will not lett me - suppose this campaign should be like the last carried into the winter - do you intend not to see me in all that time - tell me dear what your plan is - I wrote you that the Hero sailed while I was at Newburg - she did but has [jnserted: been] cruising about from harbour to harbour since - to get met - she is now here, and will sail in a day or two for france - [3]I wish I had fifty guinies to spare to send by her for neccessarys - but I have not - the very little gold we have must be reserved for my Love in case he should be taken - for friends in such a case are not too common. - I am more distressed from the hott weather than any other fears - God grant you may not go farther south'ard - if you should I possitively will come too - I believe Genl Howe is a paltry fellow - but happy for as that he is so - are you not much pleased with the news from the Northard we think it is a great affair and a confirmation of St Clairs villainy baseness - I hope he will not go unpunished - we hear also that Genl Gates is to go back to his command. - if so Master Schuyler, cannot be guiltless - it is very strange, you never mentioned that affair in any of your letters - What has become of Mrs Greene, do you all live together - or how do you manage - is Billy to remain with you payless or is he to have a com[inserted: m]ission - if the former I think he had much better remained where he was - if he understood business he might without a capital have made a fortune - people here - without advanceing a shilling frequently clear hundreds in a day - such chaps as Eben Oliver - are all men of fortune - while persons - who have ever lived in affluence - are in danger of want - oh that you had less of the military man about you - you might then after the war have lived at ease all the days of your life - but now I don't know what you will do - your [4] being long acustomed to command - will make you too haughty for mercantile matters - tho I hope you will not consider yourself as commander in chief of your own house - but be convinced tho not in the affair of Mr Coudre that there is such a thing as equal command - I send this by Capt Randal who says he expects to remain with you - pray how many of these lads have have you - I am sure they must be very expensive - I am in want of some square dollars - which I expect from you to by me a peace of linen an article I can do no longer without haveing had no recruit of that kind for almost five years - girls in general when they marry are well stocked with those things but poor I had no such advantage - little Lucy who is without exception the sweetest child in the world - sends you a kiss but where [inserted: shall] I take it from say you - from the paper I hope - but dare I say I sometimes fear [struck: what] [inserted: that] a long absence the force of bad example may lead you to forget me at sometimes - to know that it ever gave you pleasure to be in company with the finest woman in the world, would be worse that death to me - but it is not so, my Harry is too just too delicate too sincere - and too fond of his Lucy to admit the most remote thought of that distracting kind -away with it - don't be angry with me my Love - I am not jealous of you affection - I love you with a love as true and sacred as ever entered the human heart - but from a diffidence of my own merit I sometimes fear you will Love me less - after being so long from me - if you should may my life end before I know it - that I may die thinking you wholly mine - Adieu my love LK